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ïî ðóññêè |
Interpersonal
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The Health of Marriage
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...concerning domestic violence in Russia, every forty minutes a woman is killed by a man living in her home (meaning, he is not her husband). Everyday, thirty-six thousand women are beaten by their husband or are victims of violence in their home. Astonishingly, the number of domestic deaths every year in Russia is more than all the Russian soldiers who died in ten years of combat in Afghanistan.
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Dan Jarboe is a licensed marriage and family counselor. He has worked with families, couples, individuals, and groups for 20 years. His areas of psychological expertise include trauma and crisis intervention, marriage and family relationships, and interpersonal growth and development. He currently is serving as a consultant with Global Hope Partners. This series of articles is adapted from a presentation given at GHP's "Keys to Harmony at Home" conference on November 4, 2006. In regard to the benefits of marriage, one text that has been very helpful is a book by Maggie Gallagher called, The Case for Marriage. She spent thirty years studying couples that were dating, divorced couples, and people who were living together, while not being married (i.e. “cohabiting”). In light of her research, we are going to look at the effects on mental health, economy, crime, education, and physical/social health that marriage has. Concerning the benefits of psychological health, married men and women are less depressed, less anxious, and less psychologically distressed than those who are single, divorced, or widowed. While not all married people experience these psychological benefits, studies show that, on average, married people do benefit psychologically. In contrast, divorce actually brings more mental health problems. This is true especially for women (depression, low self-esteem, etc.). Forty percent of married people, versus twenty-five percent of singles or co-habitors, said they were very happy in life in general. Also, children of married parents are much less likely to use drugs, become involved in violence or sexual activity early in life, or have children before marriage. In regard to the social aspect, cohabiting men are 4 times more likely to cheat on their partner. Women who are cohabiting are 8 times more likely to cheat on their partner. Also, married men and women report having more satisfying sex lives than the other groups. As far as children, those without fathers have a much greater risk for violence (especially boys), drug abuse, mental health problems, and have more problems in school. In fact, concerning domestic violence in Russia, every forty minutes a woman is killed by a man living in her home (meaning, he is not her husband). Everyday, thirty-six thousand women are beaten by their husband or are victims of violence in their home. Astonishingly, the number of domestic deaths every year in Russia is more than all the Russian soldiers who died in ten years of combat in Afghanistan. Figures say that 1 in every 4 families has violence occurring. And, more than eighty percent of the men who do this are not husbands; they are only living with the woman. A married man is much less likely to engage in violence than a man just living with a woman. However, domestic violence is perpetrated by husbands as well as by un-married men. Another important aspect concerning domestic violence is that children are less likely to be victims of child abuse, physical or sexual, if their parents are married. In the issue of economy, husbands generally make more money than those who are single or living with someone. In general, married men and women earn and save more money. Also, concerning education, children of married parents tend to have a higher academic performance in school, in almost every area of achievement. In the issue of physical health, married men live longer than those who are single or cohabiting. Children of married parents have to go to the doctor less often and married people also recover from illness faster than those in the other groups. In fact, author Maggie Gallagher said that there are absolutely no pills you can take, no vitamins you can take, no place you can live, no lifestyle you can have, and no exercise program that will do more for your health than having a happy marriage. One unfortunate fact is that married men are at a higher risk of gaining weight. However, married men have fewer problems with heart disease than men who are cohabiting, single, or divorced. In general, a better marriage is associated with a better immune system, and, therefore, illness occurs less often. There are also some legitimate aspects of personality, character, and life, in general that can affect your marriage. These things must be considered and thought through before you marry someone. For instance, if you have a personality tendency to over-react, emotionally, you have a higher risk of divorce; therefore, emotional control is very important. It is normal and positive to be a passionate person and to have a lot of emotion, because when you are excited and things are going well, you are really up. However, when you are down, you are really down. That is not bad, but, if you do not learn to control your emotions, it can create many issues for your partner and lots of difficulty in your marriage. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ page 1 2 © Copyright – GHP – 2007 |
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